Cum see me give my first martial arts lesson in Karlsvania, my hometown. I've spent two seasons in the hexagon perfecting these skills, and I've decided to share them with all of you newbies. That's correct. Even you can get the cat-like reflexes required to fight like a pro! This week only, I'm giving a special bargain. Bring your girlfriends in, and I'll teach them my self-defense curriculum for half the price. That's right, while you're waiting in the car, I'll offer them my undivided attention. There is no such thing as an ugly girlfriend who requires self-defense training. It's a jungle out there, believe me, and luckily for you, I'm here to teach you not only self-defense but also self-respect.